Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Eating for a future of two.

When I first began toying with the idea of having my own blog, my biggest fear was not having enough material to write about. I mean, what would happen if I got through three posts, and then realized I was a cow who'd dried up...run out of the good stuff? To solve this, I invested in a small notebook that would fit in my purse, and I always kept it with me to jot down funny things I thought, witnessed or experienced firsthand. After about 22 thoughts were recorded, I decided I was safe to invest my time in creating a blog. Tor's Circus was born.

Now, I look back and I find it funny that I ever had this fear of running out of material. Anyone who knows me, knows I am rarely caught speechless (any men who have caused this to happen have been truly impressed with themselves...as they should've been). My mind is always churning, and the situations in which I find myself usually evoke a decent story. As is life. Isn't that where the best comedians find jokes for their acts? Life? Sure, sometimes someone will crack me up with an absurd scenario I know will never occur, but it's usually the jokes I can relate to..."Yeah, I know exactly the person she's talking about..." that are the most hilarious.

The reason behind that whole last paragraph: life has dealt me so many funny stories and thoughts since I bought that notebook, that I haven't even used up all the ideas I initially recorded. Who's ready for throwback night? I came across one of my recorded thoughts, and it struck an interest in me again because it's something I've been around a lot lately...pregnant women.

The recording in my notebook was from a time when I recalled seeing one of my friend's pictures on Facebook. She had an entire album dedicated to her pregnancy growth. There was a shot of her almost every week, revealing how much bigger the bump had become. Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not knocking my friend. I think it's very sweet, and it's crazy amazing how much a woman's body will change for that little person growing inside her. However, having never experienced this before, I'll admit it made me laugh.

Now that all you pregnant...or once pregnant...women think I am the most horrible person ever, please let me explain myself. Seeing these pictures reminded me of how my figure can change drastically, but it's usually the effects of a very large meal. Wouldn't it be hilarious if I started a photo album dedicated to my meals? Pictures of my belly hanging over my pants with captions kinda like this..."Brazilian Steakhouse: three pounds gained...fried cheesecake with two scoops of frozen heaven: pack on another two pounds." The thought of this made me hysterical. I may do it someday, but right now the thought of my mother killing me from embarrassment outweighs the hilariousness. You're welcome, mom.

Baby showers. I've been to a lot of them lately. Okay, just two. But...they were within two weeks of each other, so with the Target gift registry, it sure seemed like a lot of baby going 'round. Shopping for baby showers...do you really want to get me started? One would think it would be so simple with the very helpful gift registries available nowadays. Wrong. Both times it took me at least an hour to leave with three or four items. I teased one of my friends at her shower and told her I did what any single, non-parent friend would do: I went straight to the toy aisle. She and I both knew this wasn't a joke. That's exactly where I went first. Who wants to buy diapers or miniature nail clippers? I'm not responsible for a child yet, so until that day comes, I will still be the friend buying the fun stuff the baby could probably forgo.

Baby shower bonus: food. Where there are pregnant women, there will be good food (although sometimes the combos might be weird because of strange cravings. Luckily, those throwing the shower know not every guest will be pregnant and craving dill pickles, leftover milk from Cheerios, hot wings...). I was waiting in the food line at the last shower I attended and was talking to a soon-to-be mother (not the baby mama of honor). She mentioned something about eating for two, and it made me feel a little left out. And then it made me angry. What if I never get a chance to have kids? Is it fair that these women get to pig out "for two" while I stand by and eat for one? No way! I grabbed three desserts instead of one, and told myself I was eating for future possibilities. The anger subsided and a sugar coma crept in to fill the void.

That's pretty much all I've got for this post. Plus, I know pregnant women are hormonal, so I'd like to stop this before I get any hate Facebook messages, or one of them makes me watch a Baby Einstein video. I really do think pregnancy is a beautiful thing (unless you get those 4-D pictures taken of the baby...those things are downright creepy, in my opinion) and am very excited for all my recently new mommy friends...or soon-to-be baby mamas. I'm sure at one point, before the times of baby fever set in, you were just like me...trying to understand why you were frowned upon if you took more than one piece of cake, right?

Happy Lamaze class to you ladies. Thanks for sharing these ideas for my blog post, and thanks for sharing your baby shower food for my ambitious future.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Music: The song of my life.

Hello. My name is Torie, and I have an addiction called music. I allow it to take over my body, mind and soul pretty much whenever it wishes. It can take me to a crazy high or a depressing low. With music, I have no self control.

Yeah, so maybe it's not an addiction (like my apparent addiction to stay up late and type these insane blog posts...by the way, sorry it's been so long...missed y'all!), but it is a huge aspect of my life. I always knew how much I loved music, but didn't realize the control it had over my mind until tonight.

I attended a TRX class (it involves weight resistance with straps hanging from the ceiling...look it up) at my gym, in attempts to take my personal workout goals to the next level. It worked. I thought I was going to puke and maybe die. Whatever the case, it was intense, but my abs and arms are much tighter for it. And...I already hurt. I hopped on the treadmill to slow my heart rate...aka-stop my panting. I got lost in the music coming from my iPod, and soon found myself playing air drums and guitar, and even mouthing the words to the song. My realization of this soon lead me to grinning ear-to-ear, just because I now know the secret everyone else knows: I am, in fact, a hopeless moron. It's okay, I've accepted it and am prepared to live my life with this social disorder.

When I was finally able to stop grinning, I looked around and realized that all of the people working out looked like they fit into the beat of my song perfectly (no, I am not on pain killers right now...and wasn't then). It's like those commercials where they show a neighborhood, and all the sudden all these conflicting city sounds come together to harmonize beautifully. Unfortunately, not everyone in my mental gym music video was beautiful...but hey, they're in the gym. They're obviously trying to do something about it. That was a joke. I'm sure they are beautiful in their own ways.

Then another thought hit me. Luckily, I don't mean literally, because it was quite an impressive thought. Had it literally hit me, I would've gone flying off the treadmill and into the full length gym mirror like that first vampire movie. Don't play. You girls (and some guys) know exactly what I'm talking about..."Bella! Bella!"

Okay, so about this impressive thought that figuratively hit me. You know how flash mobs are all the craze these days? None of this would ever happen without someone's buy in. Someone has to start with this crazy idea...set the time, place, music, dance moves...and this amazing thing comes to life. I'm sure it took one out-of-the-box person to figure this out and say, "What the heck! It may be crazy, but let's see what happens..." I mean surely that initial person knew if no one bought in, he or she would look like a total idiot. But, he or she was prepared to take that risk, and creativity and imagination came to life.

After this profound thought, I pondered about starting my own gym flash mob. I mean heck, I already have the air drums and guitar in place. My decision: some things are much more fun to leave in my head. I really believe that secret smile gives me the "mysterious girl" look. Or...maybe, just maybe, someone thought the nasty gas the guy on the treadmill beside me passed (if you don't understand this, read the earlier posts) really belonged to me.

Moral of the story: great ideas are born from people who aren't afraid of stepping forward and looking like a complete idiot sometimes. Get caught red handed for birthing a genius idea, not for passing gas.

This is how I think outside of the box. And dressed to go to work in on Halloween last year.